Tungaw kong MAHAL.

Apat na magkakaibigang may iba't ibang pananaw.
Apat na magkakaibigang may iba't ibang ugali.
Apat na magkakaibigang hindi mo aakalaing magkakasundo.
Apat na magkakaibigang hindi mag-iiwanan.


-AiCaGenSan
Isang pangalan na sumisimbolo sa apat na magkakaibigan.
Ailyn. Caryl. Generoso. Sandra.


Di ko inaasahan na magiging malapit kaming apat sa isa't isa. Malalayo ang mga ugali namin sa bawat isa. Kaya parang ang hirap isipin kung pano kami naging close.
Eh paano nga ba talaga? Sa tuwing napag uusapan namin yan, ang hirap pagdugtong-dugtungin ng mga pangyayari. Bakit di mo din subukang alamin?


-Si Caryl naging close ko dahil sa EBS. Naging close niya din si Generoso at Sandra dahil classmate nya sila sa LTS. Eh paano ako sumingit? Di naman ako LTS.
Ganito kasi yun, Soul-Sister ko si Caryl. Lagi kaming magkasama kahit saan. Kaya sa pagkakatanda ko pinasama niya ko nun sa klase niya sa LTS. Dun ko nakilala sila Sandra at Gen.
Kilala ko na sila noon pa, kasi magkaklase kami. Pero mas nagka-bonding kami lalo nung sumasama na ako sa LTS nila. Sa mga panahong yun, crush ko pa si Generoso.
Ayun, so inshort si Caryl pala ang dahilan. Si Caryl pala ang nag dugtung-dugtong ng magugulo naming mundo.

Ayun. Yun na yun. Magulo ba? O magulo lang yung pagkakakwento ko? :)
Para san ba 'tong blog na ito? Bakit ko ba ginagawa ito? Para ma-enhance yung writing skills ko. JOKE!
Para 'to sa mga matatalik kong kaibigan, ang AiCaGenSan.


*Sa mga oras na 'to, napapangiti ako. Di ko alam kung bakit eh, pero feeling ko kasi ako si Bob Ong. Wala lang, feel ko lang.*


Ano nga ba yung mga ugali nila kaya ko nasabing mahirap kami magkasundo?

Si CARYL kasi, first impression ko dyan, mataray, tahimik at mahinhin. Kaya inisip ko, mukhang di kami magkakasundo.Kasi ako, makulit, maingay. Pero mali ako.Parehas pala kami ng ugali. Kaya nga soul-sister ko yan eh. Kasi parehas na parehas kami. Pati ng mga hilig at mga ayaw. Pati na din yung history ng buhay namin. Kaya mabilis kami nagkapalagayan ng loob. Sa tatlo, sya yung mas pinaka nakakakilala sakin. Kapang-kapa niya ako eh. Kapag may problema ako, alam na niya kagad. Ramdam niya ko eh. Kapatid na turing ko dyan eh. Tsaka ibang klase kami kung magbonding, walking trip from pleasant to francisco homes....... while raining. Oh? San ka pa? Yan ang trip. Eto pa, mamimigay ng flyers sa SM, flyers ng kainan sa foodcourt. Gusto mo pa? Oh eto, pupunta ng SM para maghanap ng lalaki. Ang saya namin diba? Iba kami eh. Kaya mahal ko 'tong si Aica eh.

Si GENEROSO, ang unico ijo namin.Tatay ko yan eh. Lagi kaming magkakampi, lalo na sa asaran. Di man halata sa itsura, pero napakaprotective niyan samin. Ayaw niya kaming nagsho-shorts. Pag nagshorts kami, susugatan nya daw legs namin. Oh diba? Protective. Generous din yan. Bagay na bagay sa pangalan niyan. Bihira lang yan ,magsalita ng nakaka-touch na salita para samin. Pero once nagsabi na sya, matatahimik kami. Matutuwa. Nakakataba ng puso. "Kapatid na ang turing ko sa inyo." Isang beses niya lang sinabi yan, pero di makakalimutan. Di ko alam kung bakit, pero pag si Gen na ang nagsalita, tumatatak sya sakin. Para sakin, masaabi kong napaka-powerful ng salita niya. Tsismoso din yan eh. Lalo na sa lovelife naming tatlo. Kailangan bawat detalye alam niya. Pero pag sya naman yung tinanong namin about sa lovelife niya, isa lang ang sagot niya. "I keep my lovelife PRIVATE." Oh diba? Nakaka-intriga. Pero all in all, isa lang masasabi ko, MASWERTE ako dahil may kaibigan akong tulad ni Gen, di man halata, pero alam kong maasahan yan. Iba ka Gen! The Best ka!

Si SANDRA, kung may tatay ako, may nanay din syempre. Nanay ko yan eh, at the same time, ate ko din. Iba mag asikaso yan. Sya yung naglilinis ng kwarto ni Caryl. sya din yung nagtutupi ng mga damit ko. See? San ka naman makakahanap ng ganyang klaseng kaibigan, maasikaso. Pag nagaasaran si Caryl at Generoso, sya din yung nagpapagitna sa kanila. Pinakamatanda kasi sya samin, kaya mas mature. Tama ba? Pero kahit magna-nineteen na yan, hindi halata. Ang bata kasi ng itsura eh. Pinakatahimik din yan. Sa aming tatlong babae, sya ang pinakamahinhin. Sya ang mas mukhang babae? Hahaha. Napaka-sweet din yan. Smart sya, globe ako, bigla biglang magtetext, "I love you Tumz." Eh paano kasi, Alltext eh. Pero nakakatuwa noh? Sweet, thoughtful and lovable, yan ang Tummie ko. Pikunin nga lang. Iyakin din ata? Pag sya ang nanahimik, alam na. Wag mo ng hintayin pang magwalk-out yan at baka sungitan ka pa. Sagana din ako sa advice nyan. Para talagang nanay. Swerte noh?


- Kita mo kung gaano ako kaswerte sa mga kaibigan ko? Eh ikaw ba naman magkaron ng mga ganyang kaibigan eh, sinong hindi magmamalaki. Di man malupet lovelife at family life ko, solve na solve naman ako sa mga kaibigan ko. Bawing bawi.

Trip naming gawin? Haay nako. Lagi mo kaming makikita sa K-Hub. Dun kami nagwawala. Dun kami nagcoconcert. Lagi kami andun lalo na pag may isa samin ang problemado. Dun ang takbuhan namin. McDo, isa pang tambayan. The best kasi ang gravy dun ee.

Haaaaay. I could not ask for more. Having this kind of people around me, is one of the greatest blessings I have. Pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari sa buhay ko, isa lang ang natutunan ko,

"GIVE WORTH TO THE PEOPLE WHO GIVES YOU WORTH." Natuto akong pahalagahan ang mga kaibigan ko. Ngayon, AKO na ata ang pinaka masayang tao kapag kasama ko sila.

Caryl Espineli, Generoso Fadriga & Razel Allisandra Go. :D
Thank you. Mahal ko kayo, mga tungaw! :* Ingat, wag tanga. ^^


-yinnn. :)
ako na ang madrama.

Never Again To Love

Never Again To Love

I keep promising myself that I will not love again. I convince myself that I'm not meant to be in a relationship and that I should stay by myself. I think about all the times I've been hurt, all the work I put in, romantic gestures, love offerings, and a portion of happiness that seems to only last a minute. I always say not to go back, especially if the break up was potentially painful, but no, I go back and I have lied to myself again; "I'm back in love again."

How can I never again love? How can I walk from the painful delusion of happiness? I'm not afraid to be alone, or to venture through life as a single man; truth is I've experienced less headache when it is just me and me alone. Never again shall I love, but here again I have lied. Never Again To Love, I shout to the high heavens. Another woman will not hurt me or throw my love away. I won't waste time writing love letters, poems; I won't waste time sending text messages saying "I'm thinking of you" or "I love you", I won't send flowers randomly, or surprise you at your job for lunch; Never again will I sip from the cup of deceit that is romantic love, or taste the sweet nectar of a woman's lips. Never Again To Love right? No I fool myself, I have lied to myself, and I trot down the road for love. Never again to love right?

Is Love A Feeling?

Is Love A Feeling?

I really don't think that love is just a feeling, but also I don't believe that love isn't a feeling at all.

I think that love is so powerful it is hard to define it.

Love is so powerful I think that we have to stop trying to ex love out of the equation!

Love is so amazing and it shouldn't be ex out of your feelings, or your relationship,

or your interactions with other people.

Love is so magical and we should experience.

Letting Go of the Past that Hurts.

Often times we are plagued by the pain of our past and by the memories of the people, places, or things that have caused us pain. In trying to overcome the perils of person to person intimacy, we are often challenged with navigating through the nightmares or flashbacks of horrible and painful exes/relationships.

How do we let go of the past and do we ever fully let go of our past experiences? These are two questions that I often ask myself; seemingly there is no definitive answer that I have come up with. There are honestly moments where I feel nothing about my past and I believe that I have triumphed over the hurt that I have experienced. Then there are those moments when it has been revealed to me that my past hurt was just buried deep in my subconscious and was waiting for the right moment to come out, that moment being when I enter into a dating situation or a new relationship.

How do you let go of the past? I believe that you must first acknowledge that you have a past. Acceptance is an incredible healing agent, when applied properly, it will allow you to walk down the path towards healing. Accepting that you have had painful past relationships will not only help you sort out the emotions you have, but it may even help you talk to your new beau about the problems you once had and what you would like to avoid in this new relationship with them. I'm not telling you to divulge all your past problems, but definitely the important ones you should discuss.

We should apply the lessons we have learned from our past. This is probably the most important step in the process of letting go. Application is the key to letting go and if you are able to identify where things went wrong, identify the qualities you don't want in a person, or identify the qualities within yourself that led to some painful interactions; this can possibly save you from entering into another dating situation and facing the same problems from before. Applying what you have learned may help you towards a healthy and nearly painless new relationship.

Never hold your new interest responsible for the pain your ex caused you in the past. This step is self explanatory. Don't hold them responsible, don't make them pay for the mistakes of your past, and definitely don't move on to something new if you're unable to not view them under the same microscope you viewed your ex.

Seek help. Yes by reading this post you have taken the steps towards getting some good, solid, and healthy outside perspective. I encourage you though to possibly confide in a friend you can trust or going to a counselor to assist you with letting go of the past hurts. Seek spiritual guidance or encouragement from a spiritual leader. Whatever you do find someone you can trust and talk to them about your desire to move forward and the hurt that you can't seem to let go of. Seeking outside perspective might just be the kick you need to help move you in the right direction.

Finally just make the decision to let go. Your past is your past, your ex is your ex (or should be), and it is time now for you to move on with your life. Making the decision to let go gives you the power to say I'm stronger than my past hurts and I want a chance to be happy. Yeah maybe you will have a flashback here or there, or something will remind you of your past hurts, but if you're taking the steps to let go of your past you are going to let it go. Decide to let go and you will.

The Law of BROKEN HEART.

If you are asking the question of how to heal my broken heart, then you have probably just ended a relationship with someone you loved very much. Interestingly, many people feel that when someone has a broken heart that they were the person that was dumped. However, many men and women alike realize that they aren’t in a healthy relationship, even if they love a person, and realize that it is best that they end things. This doesn’t mean that they don’t suffer from a broken heart, only that they realized that they need to make a change for a better future.

When you say: “heal my broken heart,” you aren’t necessarily trying to find a way to get back together with the person that you love. If that is the case, then you need to make some changes in your life to heal your own heart. You can do this without finding a new love, in fact you should move on without seeking out a new relationship because you aren’t over the old one yet.

One method of moving on and taking the heal my broken heart issue into your own hands is to start doing things that you used to do before you were in a relationship. Usually when someone starts dating someone or even gets married, they develop a couple’s pattern. They go to the same places and do the same things together. Get back into a previous routine so that you can establish your own thing that still feels familiar and comfortable for you.

Another thing that you can do is to eliminate everything that you have that used to belong to your ex. Some people recommend throwing everything away, but you should consider the stuff to a friend you trust, you never know when you will feel good enough to keep some pictures where you look fabulous or something like that. If you do give the stuff to a friend, tell them that they aren’t allowed to give it back to you or allow you to see the items until they are sure that you are no longer asking how to heal my broken heart but asking instead why it was broken in the first place.

Don’t let love find you.

Don’t let love find you. You let love build when you are with someone. I think peoples biggest mistake in relationships and in love is that they always say that Love will find you and that they all want unexpected love. Well the truth is, this isn’t a fairy tale and nothing is really actually unexpected. You have build that love off trust and happiness with each other, you can’t just say that you two are meant to be or that you two fell in love unexpected. Because you are wrong, true love takes time to build, you don’t just fall into love right away, it is something that takes time to believe. You got to think about it, let us say that you just met someone at the mall or you’re with your friends and one of your friends brought a girl that you like. Well either way, it doesn’t mean that you’ve found your love, it means you found someone. The key is not to look for love nor let love find you. You try to find someone who won’t leave you and at the same time you would want that person that makes you truly happy. Love is something that isn’t just found, it is something that takes time to build. It isn’t built on happiness and trust entirely neither, it’s built on something more. But yet I can’t quite explain it, you have to feel it to believe it and when you do you’ll feel like a million bucks. So find someone because you never know, that person you just met could be the one you fall in love with later on. They might just be the person that is everything in your life.

AICAGENSAN..

AICAGENSAN =)

Mga kaibigan ko na kahit kailan hindi sumuko sakin. Kahit na ano pang ginawa ko, hindi ako iniwan.

Lagi lang silang nakasuporta sa akin. Kung saan ako masaya, sususportahan nila ako.

Pinagsisihan ko yung pang-iiwan sa kanila noon, para sa isang taong hindi naman ako kayang pahalagahan

tulad ng pagpapahalaga ng AICAGENSAN sa akin. At ngayon, unti-unti kong aayusin lahat ng sinira ko.

Ang lahat ng pagkakamali ko, itatama ko. Babawi ako sa lahat ng pagkukulang ko sa kanila noon.

Kung hindi pa malalasing si Generoso, siguro hindi ako matatauhan. Tumatak sa isip ko yung mga

salitang sinabi nya sa akin. Kahit na lasing sya, alam ko totoo yung sinabi nya.

"Alam mo Lyn, masama loob naming tatlo nung binlock mo kami sa fb. Kinalimutan mo kami eh! Sobrang

sakit nun para sa amin. Grabe ka. Tapos ngayon, ano? Iniwan ka?! Tsk. Hirap sayo eh. Tanga ka eh!"

Tapos dinagdagan pa ni Wells. Tama nga naman din kasi sya eh.

"Onga Yin. Sila na kasama mong umiyak ng dahil sa kanya, iniwan mo. Gumising ka na kasi.

Sila na karamay mo sa lahat, iniwan mo!"

Bumanat pa si Sandra.

"Akala namin matatauhan ka na nung pinalayas ka eh. Kaso hindi pa pala. Tsk. Hay nako Tumz.

Lahat na ng payo sinabi na namin sayo noon, nasa sayo na yan kung susundin mo kami. Paulit-ulit na lang eh."

Si Caryl, kahit tahimik lang sya, alam ko nasaktan ko din sya. Soulmate ko sya eh. Super close kami.

Talagang dikit na kung dikit. Pero dahil sa paglayo ko sa kanila, nagka-gap kami. Sa tingin ko nga,

mas nasaktan ako nung naramdaman kong ang layo na namin sa isa't isa e.

AiCaGenSan! Sorry. Sorry sa lahat. Mahal nyo talaga ako eh. Salamaaaaaaaat! Tinanggap niyo padin ako

matapos lahat ng kagagahan ko. Kahit kailan, di nyo ko iniwan.

Ngayon, nagkakabonding na ulet tayo. Namiss ko lahaaaat! Yung tawanan natin, asaran.

Yung pagwawala natin sa K-Hub. Yung kainan natin. Yung mga biglaang lakad. Lahaaat. =)

Hayaan nyo, hintayin niyo ko sa second sem. Sama-sama na ulet tayo. Hindi na ako hihiwalay.

Papahalagahan ko na kayo! :"> Puro salita? Gagawin ko nalang.

Gen, salamaaat ha? hahaha. alam ko namang super concern ka sakin ee. kaya gusto mo ng patayin yung nanloko sakin.

Sandra, salamat din sa walang katapusan at walang kasawaang advice mo sakin. hahaha! mwaaa :*

CARYL! Namimiss na kita. Sobrang namimiss na kita. Sorry ha? Masyado ata akong malayo. Kaya andami nag bago.

Lalapit na lang ulet ako. Magsisimula ulet ako, at hahabol sa kung ano yung dating tayo. ILY =)

Mahal na mahal ko kayo mga tungaw!

AKO na madramaaaa. Namiss ko lang talaga kayo.